Complicated
by inevitable-tiva
Summary: Beginning of season 9. EJ is gone but Ziva still has Ray. Tony tries to navigate his feelings without crossing the line with Ziva.
1. Chapter 1

He had literally been sitting at his computer all day. Ziva didn't know what was wrong with her partner but something had not been right all week. She knew he had a lot on his mind what with EJ leaving probably dead. She wanted to say the right thing but didn't know what it was.

"Tony, what are you doing?" She asked, "You've been glued to that computer since this morning.".

"That is my business, David," He paused not looking at her. He rarely did these days. She wondered if that to the fault of EJ or Ray. Or maybe neither. "Which is none of yours," He finished.

"Come on, Dinozzo," She said. Two could play at this impersonal talk, "What's on your mind?"

He finally looked at her but ignored her question. "So, how's CI-Ray?"

"Fine. Long distance is not easy but we are making it work," She answered wondering if that was the answer to his mood.

"Mmm, yup," he said shortly. Then went back to typing at his computer.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ziva said standing up and walking over to the filing cabinet. She was not letting him escape this one.

"Nothing, Zee-vah, I'm just so happy for ya," He said. The sarcasm not missed by his partner.

"Jealous much?" She said leaning her hip on the filing cabinet. She was trying to lighten the mood. She had a feeling this conversation might take a serious turn.

He simply sat silent, however not confirming her accusation but not denying it either.

"Well this is deja vu," she said getting annoyed. "Once again the mighty 'Tony Dinozzo' will not talk to me." Tony suddenly stood up marching over and closed in on her.

She was pinned up against the filing cabinet, Tony's face inches away from her own. "You wanna know what I'm thinking Ziva?" He asked. There was no joking in his tone or on his face. They were serious as he looked from her eyes to her mouth. "There are about a lot of things I'd like to say but I don't exactly think it's squad room conversation." He swayed in their bodies touching for a very short moment sending electricity through both of them..  
"Well I sure hope it's crime scene talk, Dinozzo," Gibbs said walking into the area. "We got a body at Quantico. Grab your gear."  
Without skipping a beat, Tony turned out from Ziva towards his desk grabbing his bag. "McGee, boss?" The probie hadn't made it in yet.

"Meeting us there with Coffee," Gibbs said. "Don't think he'd wanna be here anyway, by the looks of things." He walked past Tony and gave him a quick head slap before walking towards the elevator, Tony on his heels. Ziva was dazed by what had just happened and hadn't grabbed her stuff yet.

"David!" Gibbs yelled almost as he stood by the elevator, "care to join us?" Pulled from her trance she quickly grabbed her stuff and ran inside the elevator as it was closing. She looked up at Tony who was next to her but he ignored her stare completely acting as if nothing had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

McGee was at the scene first, a change from normal so he drank his coffee in silence. Not long after a blue charger pulled up to the scene and Gibbs, Tony, and Ziva jumped out. McGee handed them Coffee. "McGee Photos. "David, Dinozzo, bag and tag." Ziva saw Tony twitch a little at this but gave a 'on it boss' as he walked over to the crime scene.

They worked in silence. Tony tried to look casual. He didn't want to be the vulnerable one right now. And after all what had he really done? She pushed him so he told her what was wrong. Well, not really told so much as showed but he had always been better with his actions. The air was getting thick though and one of them was eventually going to have to break the silence before it became more awkward. Tony was about to comment when Ziva beat him too it.

"I wonder why McGee was late today. Perhaps with a girl, that Maxine, yes?" She was trying to get him to bite on a bit of gossip.

"Well," He said annoyed "They are dating, Zee-vah. Nothing wrong with a healthy relationship."

This took Ziva by surprise, "Hah, this coming from you?"

"Yes, you know people change," he shot back shortly.

"Come on Tony, besides Jeanne and well obviously EJ-" She stopped realizing she went too far. It hadn't been long enough since EJ left to bring her up. She knew that. "Sorry."

"Ziva," he looked at her sincerely "you can say her name, I'm fine."

She was taken aback for a minute. "You really are, aren't you? Hm. So you are ready to, what is the phrase, 'get back in the car'?"

"Wrong form of transportation but I'll take it. No, I think I'm done with the dating game for a while. I'll leave it to McGee." He stood up as if he knew Gibbs was about to call his name. Sure enough Gibbs called him over leaving Ziva to the evidence and her thoughts.

Tony Dinozzo not dating? Had she heard him wrong? He had been acting different lately. Very un-Tony like. It was still him. He worked the same way and quoted his movies but it is true she had not seen him hitting on the girls around the office or witnesses. Did this have something to do with her? No. He had not even flirted with her unless you count what had just taken place in the squad room. That wasn't even flirting that was just . . . Heat. She blushed remembering how close they were.

"Ziver, let's go." Gibbs called motioning to the car. She got in excited to test Tony's mood on the trip back.

She got in the car as Gibbs was starting it. Tony was not inside. "Gibbs, where is Tony?"

"He is going to ride back with McGee, said he wanted to help with the witness statements."

"Tony? Wanted to do extra work?"

"Guess so."

"And you did not think this a bit strange?"

"Dinozzo is doing his job. I'm not gonna stand in the way."

"I'm just a little worried," She said not realizing whom she was talking to, "He told me today that he did not want to date anymore and now he's doing his job and-"

"Ziver," Gibbs said cutting her off, "I'm not his wife nor his girlfriend so I can't help you out and unless I missed something big neither are you. Let it go."

"Gibbs," she said slowly, "you must remember what it is like to worry about your partner. I'm just looking for a little advice."

"My advice. Stay out of it. I started worrying about my partner and I can tell you right now it leads to no good," He said, though their was a trace of the smile that didn't necessarily say 'no good'.

* * *

McGee was taking witness statements by himself. He had no idea where Tony was but he was definitely not working. He finished up and went to the car where tony was sitting playing on his phone. "Seriously Tony?" He said getting into the car.

"What? I got a few witness statements then I had to make a call."

"Liar. Why didn't you just leave with Ziva and Gibbs. You could have been back playing on your computer."

"Eh. Ziva's been buggin all morning. I can't deal with her right now. Figure I would just enjoy some brotherly love."

"You sure about that?" Tim said grabbing Tony's phone from his hand, "Cuz this text message says differently."

'To: Ziva  
Sorry for blowing you off. Got a lot on my mind. I do want to talk just not like this'

He hadn't sent the message yet. "Mind your own business McGrabby," Tony said snatching it back and deleting the message.

"Tony. She's with Ray. You know that."

McGees turned on the car knowing Tony would not want to talk but he barely heard Tony mumble "I know Tim."


	3. Chapter 3

Once everyone had returned back to the squad room it was business as usual. McGee and Abby started with the techy stuff; cell phones and computers while Tony went through witness statements and Ziva did credit card statements. The two hardly talked. Only when it was absolutely necessary and about the case. Eventually Gibbs gave them the go ahead to head home for the day. Tony and Ziva walked to the elevator in silence and once there it was Tony, not Ziva, who flipped it off.

"Ziva, we need to talk." he turned to her keeping a safe distance.

Ziva turned to him almost impersonating Gibbs and said, "You think, Dinozzo?"

"Very funny Ziva, count on you to crack a joke right now," he was annoyed but stopped and recollected himself. "Ok so I know I haven't been exactly open with you lately. And I'm sorry about earlier in the squad room. It was way out of line."

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows in question, "Wow Tony I don't think I've ever heard you apologize for . . . something like that. So you want to be more open?" She asked. "How have you been since EJ left, really."

"Ziva . . . " he didn't want to talk about this and wished he hadn't stopped the elevator.

"You wanted to be open, I'm asking you a question." She pushed.

He rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair. "Don't you get that I can't talk to you about these things?" He hoped she understood his subtlety.

She didn't. "What things?"

"Things, Ziva. Things about, you know, feelings and relationships and . . . .stuff," he stuttered his way through and she felt as if he did not want to say 'stuff' but another word.

"Why, Tony? We are friends, co-workers. We have been through explosions and death camps and you can not simply tell me about something in your personal life?" They stopped and stared at eachother for a long moment. He had stayed still but she had moved towards him. Not nearly as close as they were earlier but close enough that they could both feel a slight charge between them.

"No," he said simply.

"Why not?" she pleaded subconsciously moving closer.

"Are you still with Ray?" he asked softly.

It almost caught her off guard that he left off C-I. "What does he possibly have to do with any of this?" she answered staring into his eyes.

"Are you still with Ray? he pushed.

"Yes of course I am." She answered.

He moved towards her until they were as close as that morning, perhaps closer. She stood her ground not quite knowing why but waiting with anticipation to be kissed. At the last minute he turned his head and went to her ear instead whispering, "No." then he flipped the elevator on and it descended to the parking garage.

He walked out not looking at her, but said something barely audible to even him. She stood for a moment then followed until she reached her car. She watched him walk away enjoying her bittersweet view. She hoped he'd look back but knew he wouldn't. He had let go of her once and for all. She thought back to what she thought she'd heard as he had exited the elevator. It had to have been her imagination.

As Tony sat in his car he wiped the solitary tear that rolled down his cheek and said, a little louder this time to no one but himself, "I love you Ziva."


	4. Chapter 4

He promised he wouldn't let it change him. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction to know she had phased him. Plus if Gibbs noticed tension he would start asking questions and that would create a world of problems for both of them. It didn't matter and it didn't have to change anything at work. Still, he got there at 0500 to ensure he could be under control by the time the rest of the team arrived. He turned on his computer and realized there was nothing to do. He didn't do work during the normal hours, what was he supposed to do this early? The gym. The perfect way to spend an hour and get rid of some sexual frustration that had been building.

After an hour of beating Chester the child abuser manakin he felt satisfied. He jumped in the shower and dressed again. He had some fuzz on his face but left it. Who did he have to impress? He did gel his hair but didn't spend time making sure he was perfect.

He walked into the squad room to see McGee and Ziva working already.

"Good morning, Probies," he said before sliding into his seat. He gave Ziva a small look. It was quick but he did acknowledge her presence. He owed her that.

"Morning Tony," McGee said cheerfully, "Running a little late?"

Tony smirked, "For your information McOn-time I was in at 0500 to work out. What were you doing at that time?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Tim smiled thinking of his girlfriend.

"Ah yes, how are things going with your cosplay cohort?" Tony said in his normal voice but with sincere interest.

"I'm not telling you about my sex life, Tony. Just because you don't have one doesn't mean I'm going to be your proxy." Tony shifted uncomfortably in his chair and gave another small glance at his partner who had yet to speak to him this morning, though her eyes were staring straight at him.

"That's not what I meant. I . . . I just hope you're happy. You two really seem good for eachother, though I'll never admit that to Abby. It's nice to see you in a healthy relationship with someone you love."

McGee looked confused but smiled. Meanwhile Ziva was glaring. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Ziva David had not had a good night. After going home she slept very little trying to sort through her emotions. In her Mossad days things were simple. Live everyday like it's your last. Sleep with whoever was in the closest proximity and the most attractive. Now she was in a long-term long-distance relationship with one man while feeling like she broke up with another. She went into work very grouchy and had tried to hide her emotions but was not doing well. First she see's him walk in with that fuzz on his face that drove her crazy. Then she finds out he had a workout this morning. Tony Dinozzo who ate pizza was, what, doing crunches at 5am? She knew he was taunting her and that last remark about having a relationship with someone you love pushed her over the edge and it was only 0700.

"Nothing, Ziva," Tony said simply, "I'm just happy for TIm. It's about time he find someone special, don't you think?"

He didn't take her bait so she pushed a little harder. "Who are you to decide who is or isn't the right person? Since when are you an expert about love?"

McGee was beginning to look uncomfortable feeling like he had missed something. Tony was still booting up his computer and looked at his partner showing no pain or guilt, just stone cold. "I really meant nothing by it, I'm sorry though if I said something I shouldn't." Then he went back to his computer bringing up the news of the day.

McGee tried to change the subject. "Tony, you seem like you're in a good mood. Big date last night?" This got Ziva's attention. Of course. That was it. He had gotten laid and that was the reason for this change of attitude. He must have had a one night stand after their talk in the elevator to clear his mind. Done with the dating scene. Yeah right.

"Nope," Tony replied. "I actually decided to take a break from all that right now. You know after . . . " he looked at Ziva looking like he was trying to decide what to say, "after EJ left I just don't think it's the right thing for me to do right now. But I've got a ton of stuff to keep me busy."

"Hopefully not too much Dinozzo," Gibbs said as he walked in right as Ziva was about to chime with her thoughts. "We've got a lot to do today. Let's get to work. Where are we at?"  
The team gathered around the plasma and went through the case. Ziva stared at Tony through it all but he never once looked at her. Who was this new Tony who showed up early, complemented others, didn't even date. Was he trying harder for her or in spite of her. She wasn't sure.

"Dinozzo, David go talk to the wife," Gibbs said. Ziva groaned not wanting the uncomfortable silence in the car. "Dinozzo I don't want to - Ziver? Really?" Gibbs said when he realized it was his assassin who was whining, not his Senior field agent. Tony had already grabbed his gear and was waiting by the elevator.

"Gibbs, I was thinking McGee should take this one to lend a comfort to the wife that I just don't think-"

"-Wasn't a request Ziva," Gibbs interrupted, "Huh, for once you could learn something from your partner, how bout that." Tony had clearly heard and was smirking to himself. Ziva quickly grabbed her stuff and joined Tony.

"Not a word," She threatened.

"Wasn't gonna," Tony said but still smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Once in the car Tony turned on the radio. The silence was killing him but he was not about to make it awkward. Ziva looked at him wondering what was on his mind.

"Tony we need to talk," She commanded.

"Okay what's up?" Tony said. He wasn't about to get into it with her but didn't want to upset her so much that the entire day was going to be an emotional mess.

"How can you say that? 'what's up', seriously Tony. You come in looking like that, you work out you don't even seem phased by what happened yesterday. We need to talk."

Tony kept his mouth closed carefully picking his words. She was trying to raise his temper but he knew better. "Ziva," He said looking at her but still paying attention to the road, "I am sorry for what I said yesterday and the way I acted. I am sorry that there are things that I can't tell you but they are personal. I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. You are my friend and my partner and I never want you to be upset on my account." It came off a little formal but he thought he made it work.

"Tony why are you apologizing for hitting on me? This is us. We went undercover as a married couple. We have seen each other naked! Our partnership is not in the normal by any means. Why are you talking to me as if I were your sister or even your brother. I'm not McGee if you haven't noticed."

They were just pulling up to the house so Tony knew he didn't have a lot of time to explain every emotion he's been feeling in the last few months. Trying to boil it all down he said, "First of all I'm well aware you aren't McGee. Like you said, I've seen you naked. Secondly that was a long time ago. Now you have Ray and I . . . I need to grow up." And with that he got out of the car. He knew she might need a minute and sure enough she stayed put.

He was dumping her. Why did it feel this way? Why did she suddenly feel like Ray was so far away. Why did Tony suddenly look like . . . well like Tony did 5 years ago when she met him? She then pulled herself back and got her emotions in check and got out of the car.

"You good?" Tony asked.

"Yup, you?" She threw back.

"Always," he responded.

* * *

The rest of the work day went by in silence. They solved the case. Best friend. Tony was a little put off as he always enjoyed when the spouse did it but was over it quickly.  
"Heading home soon?" Ziva asked him as she put on her coat. She wanted to finish their earlier conversation but didn't know how to bring it up. "I am headed down but I would be happy to wait until you are also ready."

Tony had to smirk a bit. Five years he had waited for her to pay him this much attention. "Nah don't worry about it I still got quite a bit and I told McGee I would finish his. He had a big date."  
Ziva softened under this. Who was this guy? Helping a friend out, staying late, not even jumping to walk her down? The more she saw the more she wanted him. It was perhaps because she knew he didn't want her but she pushed that thought away. It was time, she decided. Ray was a continent away and not getting any closer. Tony was here now. She walked over to his desk staring at him. He was completely unphased looking down at his casework. "Tony," she said softly.

He looked up at her not smiling but not turning away either. He simply sat. He was not making a move here. If something was going to happen it was going to be all her and he knew she wouldn't. She was sitting on the edge of the desk next to his case report. He searched her eyes trying to figure out what she was thinking. Her pupils dilated he suddenly knew what was coming. She leaned down putting a hand on the back of his neck and closed in. He didn't miss a beat but met her mouth with a sweet caring kiss. One that summed up the last 5 years; one that consumed everything he never said and wanted to say. The kiss deepened and his hand went to her waist for a small moment before they parted. They stared at one another as he heard the elevator ding.  
Suddenly he scooted away, distracted by something he saw in the distance. "Well . . . looks like you won't have to go home alone after all." She heard pain in his voice and turned around.  
Ray Cruz was walking into the squad room.


	6. Chapter 6

He had not seen a thing. Ziva tried to give Tony an apologetic look before she jumped up. She put on the best fake smile she could bear and greeted her boyfriend.

"Ray," she said surprised, "Oh my, what are you doing here. I thought you'd be out of the country for months!"

"I couldn't stay away. I missed you too much," he answered giving her a kiss filled with passion. Tony sat at his desk staring at his paperwork feeling terrible. He was trying not to wear his emotions but found it much harder than he had this morning.

Ziva had obviously pulled away from the kiss faster than Ray would have like but he recovered turning towards Tony. "How are you, Agent Dinozzo?"

Tony pulled himself together quickly but felt his heart sink a little more and more as he saw the two holding hands. "Hey Ray, I'm fine. How are you? Good trip?"

"I'm great now," Ray said nipping at Ziva's mouth again. "What's wrong? Tough case? I heard about EJ by the way. How are you doing with that?"

Tony met Ziva's eyes. They were filled with sorrow, regret most likely. "No I'm fine. It's never easy in matters of love but I will figure it out." He was still looking at Ziva but Ray was completely distracted playing with Ziva's fingers.

"I hope you do. Ziva we should get going I have dinner reservations for us. Tonight we dine like royalty. He started towards the elevator still holding Ziva's hand. She hadn't looked away from Tony yet.

"Tony, I . . ." he knew she had nothing and gave her a look that was somewhere between 'kill me now' and 'I'm trying to accept it so just go'. "Goodnight Tony." And with that she was gone.  
Soon after he knew he wasn't going to finish this tonight and headed home himself.

He sat on his couch not even paying attention to the film he had put on. He had stuck to his rules, he had given up on her he had done everything right. He had blocked out what he was supposed to. He had followed rule number 12 to a tee and yet had fallen victim to Ziva like he was her prey. But did he really? He thought to himself. She kissed him! He was sitting at his desk doing what he was supposed to. What would have happened if Ray hadn't walked in? She obviously hadn't expected him. Would she have continued to kiss him? Would she have left? Would he have followed her? Would the spot where Ray was sleeping tonight have been his? Too many questions and Tony knew he would never know the answers. He closed his eyes trying to put his mind to rest but knew sleep would not come.

Ziva layed next to Ray that night thinking about Tony. She had really messed up this time. She felt like she should get a head slap for this one. She had solely broke rule number 12 but she knew it wasn't just her that was hurt. She knew it was never good to do things on a whim but she just couldn't help herself. He had looked so good and she didn't even think Ray was in the same country let alone the same building. But now Ray was here. She slipped out of bed and grabbed her phone. She owed him an explanation if nothing else. She looked at the clock, 0200. Great, she said her finger over the send button. She pushed it and held the phone to her ear. After two rings there was an answer, his voice, his sweet sexy voice.

"Dinozzo," he said.

"Tony, it's Ziva," suddenly everything she thought she could say to him sounded cheap.

"Yeah I got that, I do have caller ID."

"I know I just, I felt like I owe you an explanation." This was going horrible. Two sentences and already she felt lower than any chick flick she'd ever seen.

"Ziva it's fine," he said yet she could hear the hurt in his voice. "I'm fine. It was a mistake. Sometimes things happen and we try to fix them. I think we should just rewind and forget all about it. Ray is back and you need to be focused on that."

"Tony for once could you not talk about Ray. He is your excuse whenever you don't want to talk about your feelings," She felt her temper rising and she didn't know why.

"Well if you remember I did forget about Ray for about a minute and we saw how well that worked out," he fell silent but she could tell there was more coming. "I'm only going to say this once and then like I said we go back to the way it was before the . . . incident, deal?" she agreed. "EJ and I were over before she even . . . disappeared. She found out about my feelings for you, I actually told her. She had suspected for a while and said she would not be second best in my life. She wasn't angry but she was hurt. She told me that no one in my eyes would ever compare to you and I would continue my long list of dysfunctional relationships until I got over or with you. I know she was right. My subconscious knows no woman will ever be good enough while you are in my life. I never want to hurt anyone like that again so that is why I'm not dating."

Ziva was silent. She had not expected that. She expected him to yell or not even answer but he had finally answered her question calmly and coolly as if it wasn't a big deal anymore.

"Ziva?" he asked

"Yes, I'm here."

"Will you answer one for me now?"

She knew what he was going to ask. She owed him an explanation. Still she want to hear him ask it. "What, Tony?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"It's complicated," Wow she really was American and he called her on it.

"I have noticed," he quoted, "the use of that word as a code for 'if I explain it, you would not agree, therefore I will use the word "complicated" and hopefully you will stop asking'".  
She smiled remembering their conversation from many years ago. "Ok . . . I kissed you because I wanted to. You were looking handsome and I was feeling lonely and my boyfriend was feeling very far away at the moment. It was a bad combination at a very late hour."

"So you used me," he asked. She could hear a slight pain in his voice, "I mean you would have kissed McGeek if he was the one sitting there instead of me."

"Tony no that is not what I am trying to say. Please understand that I am trying to make things right."

"Ziva, it is 2am and you snuck away from your boyfriend to call your partner who you kissed earlier that night. I'm not going to spell this out but think about that and decide what it is you want," and with that he hung up.


	7. Chapter 7

He had no idea what would happen when she walked in the next monday. The weekend had been tough for both of them. Tony had mostly spent it at home leaving only to work out and get food. He had picked up the phone about a dozen times but his thoughts always made him put it away. She had obviously made her choice. She was with the love of her life and he was left with nothing . . . nothing. He was in the office 20 minutes late. He couldn't get out of bed and was not looking forward to faking the whole day with Gibbs. He sat down at his desk.

"Wow, you too?" McGee asked. "No one is on time today."

"Huh?" Tony grunted. He looked across to his partner's desk and noticed she had not arrived that day either. He pictured her laying in bed with her love and it made him shift uncomfortably in his chair. McGee noticed his state and gave him a questioning look. "Ray returned friday night. I'm sure they are getting . . . caught up," Tony managed to say hoping the probie didn't notice the pain in his voice.

"Ah," McGee said suddenly understanding everything.

Gibbs walked in and immediately noticed his newest agent hadn't arrived. "Dinozzo where's Ziver?" He asked.

Tony, trying to maintain his cover simply said, "No clue."

"Well call her Dinozzo. Just because we aren't working on a case doesn't mean she doesn't have to be here and she's never late."

McGee stepped in to protect his friend. "Uh, boss Ray came back last week."

Gibbs looked up looking at McGee who was giving him a look. Then he looked to Tony who had picked up his phone but hadn't done anything yet. He sighed. Here we go he thought. "McGee, call Ziva."  
Tony didn't say anything but gave Gibbs a grateful look.

McGee picked up the phone and dialed. Tony listened but tried not to be obvious. "Hey, Ziva it's McGee. Hey we were just making sure - oh yeah um hang on," Mcgee looked up to Gibbs. "She wants to talk to you boss."

Gibbs silently picked up his phone as McGee put his down. "Why aren't you at your desk, David? . . . Uh-huh . . . You sure? . . . Anything we can do? I can send Dinozzo over to - . . . Ok yeah just keep us updated." He hung up and looked back at his computer.

Tony tried to say casually, "Everything alright?"

"Just needed a personal day, she said." Gibbs didn't even look up.

Tony pushed a little harder, "Well did she say why?"

"No, Dinozzo that's why it's called personal," he paused, looked up then asked, "Did I miss the memo?"

"No boss, I was not called by Ziva's father to become her personal bodyguard. Sorry boss."

Gibbs smirked then went back to his computer. Still he shot off a quick text to his partner.

'I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to but let me know if I can do anything'

The first half of the day went by very slow. Tony checked his phone every 5 minutes but there was no response. At lunch time he thought about calling but knew it would have been out of line.  
"Dinozzo,' Gibbs called, "with me, now." Tony followed in silence. They stepped into the elevator and Gibbs flipped it off. They stood in silence, Tony feeling like he had been sent to the principal's office. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling but he did not like it. "What's going on Dinozzo?"

Tony put on his most innocent voice, "What do you mean." A quick head slap showed Tony he wasn't fooling anyone. "Boss it's not my job, like you said. Ziva's my partner. My partner is with her boyfriend and-"

"-no she's not," Gibbs cut off giving him a steely look only Gibbs gives. Tony just stared not even knowing what to say. "Since I'm the only one that apparently cares about her I contacted CIA contacts and Ray Cruz left for a long-term mission Saturday morning."

Tony was surprised how many words his normally silent boss had just said. He tried to digest them. "Boss, I didn't know, I . . . did they break up?" He knew that last question gave him away but he had to ask.

"I don't know, Dinozzo," Gibbs said looking annoyed, "Figured you should find out."

Tony almost smiled at his boss. Was Leroy Jethro Gibbs really playing matchmaker? He put on his most matter-of-fact voice and said "Rule number 12?"

Gibbs turned, flipped on the elevator, turned walking out and said, "Ziver's not a co-worker, she's family."


	8. Chapter 8

He stood outside her door. He had been standing there for 20 minutes but hadn't gotten the courage to knock yet. What if they hadn't broken up? What if Gibbs' intel was wrong? What if he caught them in an awkward situation. Coitus interuptus, he thought. What if their breaking up had nothing to do with him? But if he didn't find out he might lose his chance forever. And Gibbs' thought he should so that was a good sign right? Maybe not though with Gibbs' track record. He finally mustered every bit of courage he had in him turned and knocked firmly. It was only a second or two before the door opened to his partner. She was dressed in Yoga pants and a sweatshirt. He had never seen her in this attire before but he couldn't help admitting he was missing out. She was the first to speak.

"Get tired of my hallway?" She asked.

"You knew I was here?" He asked feeling embarrassed hoping she hadn't been watching him the entire time he had been there.

"For twenty minutes, yes."

Great, he thought. He pushed it to the side trying not to linger on it. He didn't want to start a stupid argument about her not letting him in before or him not having any courage. He refocused. "Are you alone?"

"Yes," She said moving to the side so he could enter. He felt her follow closely and the proximity made him tense up a little. He stood in her front room. What did he want to say? He had no idea suddenly. He racked his brain. There was a plan right? He had said it before to himself. Luckily she broke the silence first.

"Drink?" she asked looking him up and down. It wasn't sexual he could tell. She was just using her ninja spidey senses to sort through his body language.

"Please," he said, grateful for the excuse to drink. He needed to relax and perhaps his thoughts would come easier with some help. Gathering some more courage he asked, "So you feeling okay? Gibbs mentioned a personal day." He tried to make it sound like no big deal but he saw from the look on her face she knew he was lying.

"It has been a long weekend I will admit. I just needed a day to sort through things."

Time to cut the crap, he decided. He walked towards her in the kitchen where she was pouring some wine. "Did you guys break up?"

She paused pouring and closed her eyes. "Yes."

"Why?"

"It's compli-" she stopped knowing that word wouldn't lead anywhere good. "A lot of reasons. He left for another mission."

"Ziva," he said now facing her, "the only reason I care about right now one that has to do with me."

"Tony I have asked you once before to leave-" she struggled to say his name, the wound still raw, "-Ray . . . out of this. Now that he is can we please just talk?"

Tony realized this was perhaps the best thing she could have said. He smiled a little for the first time and grabbed her hand. The first contact was electrifying and her eyes shot to his. He led her backwards towards her couches in the living room, leaving the two filled wine glasses in the kitchen. They sat but he didn't let go of her hand. The touch had been something he craved for 6 years and he wasn't about the give it up yet.

"Let's talk," he said simply.

She had her first question ready and he sensed it. "Tony do you even have real fee-"

"-I'm in love with you, Ziva." He didn't even let her get it all out. "I'm in love with you and I have been for a long time." Her eyes were fixed on his and forming other questions but he wasn't done, not yet. "I love your strength. I love how you can beat me up physically and mentally anytime you want. I love that you don't need protection. I love how you have been able to create this amazing new person as an American but managed to keep your heritage and israeli culture with you. I love that you cared enough to come after me into the bathroom. I love that you push me when I'm being stupid. I love your mixed up idioms, I love them so much sometimes I don't correct you on purpose. I love your curly hair and your gorgeous eyes that have said things to me your mouth hasn't. I love that you hate the things I love but put up with them anyway. I just love you. All of you even the parts I hate." He could have gone on all day but his voice was starting to crack and he wasn't sure if he could keep going without falling apart. He stared into her eyes which were shimmering with tears.

She gently caressed his hand. "Tony you know that I am not good at talking about my feelings. Feelings were never discussed in my home after Tali died. My father said they were weakness. It is hard for me to open my heart with as much willingness as you just have," Tony nodded and opened his mouth to speak but Ziva took a hand and put it over it. She was apparently not done. "Yet I would like to try. Tony when I met you, you were imagining your dead partner naked. I thought you were the stupidest most unprofessional balloon I had ever met." He smiled knowing she meant buffoon but didn't feel the need to correct her. "When I came to NCIS as an officer you were the same. You danced around your feelings. It was all hot women to you. Anything deeper and you shut it out, not that I was better. Through the years though I had come to care for you. The first time was when you were doing your undercover mission. Then seeing what Jenny's death did to you. But the moment I knew I loved you didn't come until I was captured in Africa. I had been to hell and back. At night I prayed to go back in time and forgive you. I prayed to have never stayed in Israel. I prayed that I would wake up in your arms and all that time had just been a nightmare. Then one day they pulled off my hood and there you were. You saved me. I have loved you ever since." He could tell there was more she wanted to say but he couldn't let her, not right now.

As she paused he put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in. She scooted closer as the space between them closed. Tony thought this kiss would feel like the one they had shared less than a week ago but it didn't. This was new. This was a kiss of love. It was slow and soft. Their breathing in sink, they began to explore each other. His hand that had been on her neck tangled in her hair. His other hand went to her lower back bringing her to him. She was wrapping into him, her whole body giving way to the kiss. She swung one leg so she was sitting on his lap as the kiss broke and he began working on her neck and jaw line. A low moan broke from her throat and he smiled happy with the effect he was having on her. He went back to her mouth looking for another kiss but Ziva had other ideas. She went to his ear and bit down. It made Tony jump but he expected this kind of aggression from his partner. She pulled back little so she was breathing on his ear making the hair on him neck stand up even more. "Bedroom," she said going back to his ear nibbling away. Tony stood, his lover's legs wrapped around him, and travelled towards the bedroom. He stopped for a moment and Ziva pulled he head back so she was face to face with him.

"I love you, Ziva David."

"I love you, Anthony Dinozzo"

They went into another passionate kiss and Tony stumbled his way to the room where he always knew he belonged.  
_fin_


End file.
